Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Breaking bad habits

Six weeks of stress eating and watching as much television-on-DVD as humanly possible (oh, Dexter) has caught up with me. I go through cycles of eating fairly decently, but most of the time when I am left to my own devices, I revert to a diet that is admittedly horrible.

I am trying to change.

Step 1: Break up with the microwave. It's lazy. Put some effort into it. I mean, we bought our camp chef oven for a reason. And the propane's already paid for.

To start I built me a pan of bean burritos in jalapeno tortillas smothered in enchilada sauce. Reheating is easy, just throw some tin foil on the little baking sheet and cook on low for 20 minutes or so.

Gets a delicious crunch on the bottom. This little oven would have no trouble roasting veggies, I never even turn it up past the very lowest setting.

Step 2: Don't eat after 7 p.m. They say sumo wrestlers gain enormous amounts of weight by eating a huge meal and then going directly to sleep. Sounds plausible at this point in my short experiment. And instead of trying to convince myself that energy bites are okay to devour because all the ingredients are "basically good" I've started satiating my sweet tooth with an apple and peanut butter after dinner.

Lunch with my very thoughtful friend Melinda in the park last week meant taking leftovers of a delicious quinoa klamata olive feta salad home. And the other day she dropped off a huge bowl of vegetarian chili for me. I am always thinking how I could eat better if only someone would deliver food to me!

I've missed about a month of yoga, which was really starting to feel beneficial. I will be glad to get back to it this weekend. My yoga teacher recommended some books and one I really enjoyed was The Wisdom of Yoga: A Seeker's Guide to Extraordinary Living. I know yoga is seen as some new age flakey woo woo thing, but I have experienced beneficial results, and reading that book made me consider what is possible. 

Last night I read most of Why I Am A Buddhist. My family only went to church for weddings and funerals and I've never felt an affinity with the Christianity I was exposed to growing up. I am more of a science person. Or nature person. I really don't feel the need to have a spiritual awakening - though peak experiences shouldn't be discounted or diminished - but I am finding a lot of what Asma writes in it is in line with what I already believe: all living creatures deserve our compassion, we should try to reduce suffering in the world, truth must be self-tested, that everything is temporary. 

And my temporary physical separation from my husband is....temporary. We talk almost every day and Skype when we can. But there's no replacement for the real tangible within arms reach. I'm trying to appreciate the opportunity that I have, being alone isn't something I'm used to. We've been together pretty much since we met in 1997/98. Then again if this summer job means we get some burdens/bills get paid and we possibly have enough coin to scrape together a short getaway once he returns, it might be worth the separation. The jury is still out.


Chris said...

I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to eating, and I swear I have the metabolism of a sloth. What kills me is when I go stretches with a lot of travel. You know how hard it is when you are in a food desert (i.e. nothing but chains and fast food and all that shit for miles and miles) with an expense account? It's a nightmare. I do better this time of year when it stays light out later and I can go DO something after work hours, but for about 9 other months out of the year it's a freakin' trial. I do okay sometimes, but others . . . not so much. I'm currently trying to battle back after a long stretch of "not so much" that started last fall. It's almost enough to crush one's spirit.

April said...

I seem to have a slow metabolism, too. I wish I had a faster feedback loop - often I see the numbers going down on the scale and then reward myself (maybe too much) and then I'm back to where I started in a couple weeks. Frustrating.